Tirzah’s Posts ~ 1868


December 27

John Humphrey Noyes: “I shall wait and study the matter, and if inspiration shows it to be a good combination, I shall go ahead with you as quick as I would with anybody. It is among the possibilities that must be submitted to God.”

October 31

Father Noyes said to me tonight of my piece “Among the Autochthons” in this week’s paper: “I like your piece very much. It is pretty. It is somewhat rambling, but as you write more you will learn more regard for unity. But I enjoyed this piece very much. It is quite charming. Keep your freedom to ramble; you will grow into unity of style. Keep near to Harriet Skinner and me, and you will become a good writer. Remember, above all, that fertility is the gift of God, and he will give you inspirations.”

Tuesday, September  22

Father Noyes said this evening: “No one knows what a blessing it is to be free from pain.  I haven’t been a moment without pain in my throat all summer. I never came so near dying—never got so close to the old monster.  A terrible burning in my throat, and the worst of it was, I could feel it creeping toward my lungs. But I am getting over it once more.”

Sleeping with Mr. Noyes the other night he said there was an immense difference in women in regard to power to please sexually.  “Why, is there?” said I.  “Yes,” he answered, “there is as much difference between women in respect to ability to make social music as there is between a grand piano and a tenpenny whistle!”  Then applying his remarks personally he said: “I always expect something sublime when I sleep with you.”

Thursday, September 17

Room with Ida, Aunt Harriet, and Consuelo in the Middle House.

Monday, August 17

Father Noyes is very kind to me. I get his breakfast, and wait on him at night, and am with him on editorial matters.

Sunday, August 9

It has been very delightful to have Uncle George here a week.  I haven’t troubled him this time either.  I tried not to, any way.  We had a nice little chat this afternoon of an hour or two.  He says he told Father Noyes that he had difficulty about me that he (John Humphrey Noyes) used to have about my father, i.e. get fascinated by me, so he was unable to see my faults.  Queer isn’t it?  Then he related some of his European adventures to me in his own bewitching, unapproachable way.  He goes tomorrow.  Mary has been at Willow Place a week, and expects to stay there now indefinitely.

Friday, August 7

The Croly party came to-day.  I was one of those delegated to take charge of them.  It was a very pleasant affair indeed. Mrs. Croly is a charming woman, because she is sensible, refined, and intellectual.  Not a bit afraid of her.  Mr. Noyes said the New York press had come up here to inoculate me, and make an editress of me.  He talked and laughed with me about their coming a good deal.  He said he wanted the Community to make a stunning sensation, “and I want you to lead off.”  “I don’t know but we had better, all hands, practice before the glass until we can get on an expression of high intelligence and conscious superiority!” said he.

July 15

A most splendid time with Mr. Noyes this afternoon. “The word of God to me now is,” said he, “talk less, and love more!  This is to be my final work, to sanctify amativeness.  This is the way to preach salvation from sin.  What is salvation from sin?  Why, it is being saved from our passions, and amativeness is the king passion.  This is the way to do—preach it practically.  Other folks may stop, or grow indifferent, but I am going on higher.  I have had some splendid times this summer.”  I told him how I like to begin “my month” with him—that he really controlled my amativeness.  If I was in rapport with him I had good times with other folks—otherwise I had little attraction.  He was very much pleased, and told me to ponder it in my heart.

June 16

Father Noyes put the responsibility of the paper on me today, relieving Theodore.  I told him I wanted to do right.  “You will,” said he, “I don’t expect anything less.  I shall make a good editress of you.”

Oneida, April 24

Uncle George has come and gone.  Strange talk with him.  We never talked so freely.  He thought I troubled him some – bewitched him.  We had it back and forth in lively style for a while.  But our talk was very satisfactory.  We are no longer lovers, any way until I don’ trouble him in the least. I told him just what I owe to my acquaintance with him.  He did me, too.

Oneida, March 26

Father Noyes came Tuesday night.  Mary and I got to see him.  He was in fine spirits.  He told us about the rapid reconstruction of the W.C. (Wallingford) Family.  “I never grew so fast in my life,” he said, “as since all you folks got away.  Even Charles Joslyn and Mr. Whiting are getting to be exemplary saints!”  Though he spoke laughingly, he made us understand that he was independent of the old relations to us.  “Augusta (Hamilton, later Towner) and Helen (Woolworth) have done for me since you girls went away,” said he.  Mary felt some bad about it; but I didn’t at all.  I was glad we were out of the way, so that those other girls could get the same benefit from association with him that we had.  I was glad he felt so independent of us, and wanted us to be independent of any sentimentalism in our feelings for him.

Last night he asked me to sleep with him, and I never realized so much as I have to-day what a life-giving thing it is to have fellowship with him.  I had an unusually nice time, and felt happier and younger today than any day since I came.

John Humphrey Noyes

He gave some interesting talk in his room on old-grannyism, and the spirit of the second generation.

“I feel that there is a strong spirit of old-grannyism in this Community, and that Mr. Cragin is the top of it.  I’ll tell you what I am going to do.  I am going to favor the young in an insurrection against the old.  The devil has tried a great many time to do that thing; but now I believe God has taken hold of it in his own interest – to carry on his work.  What this Community needs is to let the young blood rise.  If folks will be old grannies, they may; I shall not spend my strength in trying to drag them out of that state.  But they must not get into the center; they must keep on the circumference, and in a small corner, where they have little or no influence.  If folks will be old grannies, we must expect that their children will rise and go ahead of them.  We have got a strong battalion of young folks, and what we want is to let them rise.  This young set are, as a whole, more continent, more wise, and more nearly right about the subject of love than the old folks.

Theodore Noyes

My son (Theodore) is strong in spiritual things, and strong in finance, and he has an army of young folks to sustain him.  I have just ‘saved my bacon.’  I have got a son who is able to lead in spirituality and in business, and he has a strong company of young folks to uphold him.  The second generation is a peculiar one; perhaps there will never be another one like it.  They have had experience in the old state of things, and have come through into wisdom and continence about love, without having their hearts burnt out with idolatry.  Folks gave said we should fail when the second generation grew up, but we should fail if it were not for this second generation.  It is the second generation that is going to be the salvation of us.

Oneida, March 24

Left Wallingford the morning of the 10th in the company of Harriet, Cornelia, Ella, Mary V., Alfred and Edwin B.  As Uncle George (Noyes) bade me “good-bye” he whispered, “Watch and pray.”  I owe to my acquaintance with Uncle George during the past three years a thousand blessings.  From him I learned that it is truly the glory of a woman to love and be receptive to good men; he taught that pride is despicable; he led me to this knowledge and love of God.  These lessons I have learned, not by his teaching me in words, but by following his example and getting in rapport with his spirit.  I have every reason to honor and love him.

Arrived here at midnight.  For several days I felt strangely.  It seemed as though there was no action in my heart.  Thursday, the 19th, Theodore criticized me for not co-operating easily with him in regards to the paper, for having a spirit of diotrephiasis in regard to it, and for making Mary [add last name] stand in terror of me.5 Aunt H.H.S. {Harriet?} was there.  Said Theodore: “She is full of the diotrephian spirit lately.  I don’t see how it got into her.” H.H.S.: “I do; it is natural to her.  That is where she is just like me.  That spirit was always natural to me.”

I felt very thankful for the criticism. It softened my heart, and did me good in many ways. I do hate this spirit of hardness, which comes over me sometimes. I felt a new purpose to keep in unity with Mary, and be humble in regard to her. In her the heart stands in much greater prominence than the head, while with me the opposite is true. I can learn from her, and have need of her.

Sunday we got out our first Circular at O.C. [Oneida Community]. The work on it has passed off pleasantly, and I have enjoyed being receptive to Theodore. Monday I just tried the piano. I had a purpose that I should not touch it until the first paper was printed, for I was anxious that music should be no diversion to me from duty.


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